Zombie Nazis, duck fat, and my new favorite spice grinder

Yesterday, I decided that Maryland is speeding up my natural aging process, and that a weekend-er in Queens would be a beneficial respite. And so here I am, in Queens, staying with a friend who thinks its SOOOOOOOO HILARIOUS to wake me up by sitting his overweight, hyper-allergenic cat on my face.

And I'm all out of box-wine... :(

Since I've been here, two very important topics for discussion have arisen: Zombie Nazis and Duck Fat.

Dead Snow, a Norwegian (I think) movie released in 2009, is the cinematic mastery of juxtaposition: Nazis that are Zombies, and after what looks like pirate gold; Medical students on a chain-saw-zombie-massacre; Sex on an outhouse toilet (guy shits, girl comes in an bangs him, she shits... and then her intestines are ripped out). And then, there's the intestines motif. Everybody, it seems, has their intestines ripped out by a zombie, or at the very least a pesky tree branch.

LASWTTTD Rating: a gourmet hot dog.

Like a gourmet hot dog, Dead Snow was delightfully familiar in its nature, slightly upgraded from what you've come to expect, and yet, not so healthy. Two complaints, however: I was waiting for the scene where Zombie Nazi does a Hitler salute and SHAZAM chainsaw gets his arm, but sadly, that never happened. Also, you just can't hang cliff-side from another's intestines. They aren't made of fucking polypropylene, and they are way too slippery to climb. I mean, I realize this is a movie about Zombie Nazis but let's just have a little respect for basic physics.

As for duck fat, it's delicious. I highly recommend its usage to put a professional foodie spin on your meal. The stuff is not easy to come by, so I jumped at the chance to throw it into my shopping cart while perusing the best grocery store ever in Brooklyn. Seven dollars gets you seven ounces, so you'll feel like you're purchasing crack, but roast some potatoes or asparagus in the stuff and it will totally be worth the shame emanating from your wallet.

And because I'm such a benevolent soul, I am going to provide a second fantastic foodie recommendation - the spice grinder to end all spice grinders, which I found in that same awesome grocery store. The company is called Elements of Spice, and they manufacture a series of clever grinders that combine multiple spices for a powerful punch of flavor per twist. Heat Wave is one such grinder, which combines sea salt, green chillies, garlic, coriander leaves, ginger, horse radish, lime peel, and ginkgo biloba. I have yet to try this herbal clusterfuck on food, but in the palm of my hand it smells and tastes as good as this scenario:

You're on the shore of a lush caribbean island at nightfall, the sky rich with colors as the sun dips below the horizon. Spicy Latin rhythms pound the sand as people dance and grill delicious foods, while fruity and heavily alcoholic beverages flow freely. A Herculean local wearing not but a beach towel invites you to the water's edge for a passionate make out session reminiscent of your adolescent days at the Cineplex. And then someone just hands you money for no reason.

Tonight's menu: Delirium Nocturnum Belgian Ale, pork chops, asparagus, and the lovelies mentioned above.

Happy eating!